When I was in middle school, I remember feeling insecure around people who were standing out of the crowd with their identification as Christians. I can still recall a moment looking across the school yard to see a group gathering in a circle of nice kids out on the grass and remember the “far way” feeling. I had other interests, other friends, but that moment always stayed with me of noticing this other circle of friends.
Being a Christian was something I knew little about. I knew about Jesus Christ, knew He was real, and I assumed that meant something having grown up attending church. When I remember myself looking across the busy lunch time period, there was one guy whom I had attended elementary school with who was part of that group. When we were in elementary school, we were a lot more homogenous, a classroom of kids all learning the same thing, more or less, but now in middle school students quickly branched into their various clicks.
There must have been a mention in the school bulletin, I knew a group of students were meeting at lunch to do whatever Christians do. It was co-ed group and thought that was noteworthy, during a time when guys are, generally, awkward around girls.
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The people I looked up to at that time in my life did not study the Bible, they didn’t attend church and they never spoke about Jesus unless it was while they were being profane.
The people I looked up to liked to have fun and that didn’t include being spiritual or anything to do with the church. Philosophical, yes, spiritual no. The people I thought were fun did a lot of things that had more to do with cars, flirting with girls and sometimes mind altering substances, and listening to all kinds of the incredible music of that era, from Rock to Soul and everything in between (except for church music). All that didn’t seem to line up with being part of a Christian group, so, Christian groups were not for me, not the kind of people I should be hanging out with. At least that’s how I figured it I as a high school or middle school student.
My group? My friends and I would sit around and talk about how to make cars faster and how to be a juvenile delinquents.
My “church” the car nut community
When high school came around, my friends and I would make the best use of the back parking lot to do the best drifting burnouts we could exert from high output engines and bias ply tires. That was my primary contribution to leaving my mark on the school grounds. What was amazing is that the faculty never told us we couldn’t (at least not that I remember). We were safely doing our type of juvenile delinquent driver’s training far away from hurting anyone conducting advanced driver.s training.
We all enjoyed driving but the social phenomena of Cruising at night, transformed ordinary main drags of certain cities into rolling a Circus Maximus on Saturday nights, became a social event for thousands of car lovers of all kinds, but muscle cars always stole the show.
I guess that was our church, the street machine fanatics who made up their own dysfunctional moral codes, built upon the stronger though silent foundation of Christian morals that we had mostly were ignorant of but enjoyed the fruits of.
We worked though. We worked a lot. The Protestant work ethic was alive and well. We needed money to build our cars, buy gas, and have money to spend to go out and make adventures.
I guess you could say I (we) had ample time to develop some bad habits and I knew little oft the world of people who were armed with Bibles.
Light on the Truth, social standard, not Biblical standard
Since my parents rarely spoke about the Church, unless they were involved in some volunteer activity. But we did attended services and I can recall the repetitions of affirming what we were supposed to believe as Christians through the Order of Worship.
In the great sanctuary where we attended church, the many stain glass windows that filtered the daylight into colorful rays of light, with the powerful pipe organ, I remember words recited over and over without really understanding the full meaning. I remember the painful dress shoes when I was really young that I had to wear going to church.
Once in a while, various congregants were asked to volunteer to read the day’s Scripture passage and everyone loved my mom, people would say her reading was like she was reading a bed time story. That’s when I was in high school and also when dad was too busy to attend church. He’s rather go running.
But some of the weekly repeated words and statements registered in my memory. Every week the congregation would repeat them. I for one did not understand most of it the way I ought to have and I never felt motivated to dive into the Bible, that big enigma of a book, to figure it out.
Our Father, Thou Art in Heaven, Forgive us for our trespasses, Help us with our Unbelief, This is My Body broken for you, this is My Blood poured out for you. Jesus is the Good Shepherd. We Believe in the Universal Church, our Savior suffered under Pontius Pilate, died and was resurrected on the third day, (again, definitely not really understanding the impact of such statement), and the Cross stands out as the primary symbol of Christianity. I knew Jesus was crucified. I didn’t really know what that meant for me personally. I didn’t regularly attend Sunday School but developed a child-like understanding of Scripture through the popular Bible stories.
This is probably a classic benchmark for most people who attend church whether they are children or not. Maybe I’m wrong, but I wager I’m not far off the mark.
An important mentor of mine was a high school teacher.
One of the strongest influences was from a man who ran the auto shop. He was a Mormon but he just came a cross as a calm and disciplined man who was socially and politically conservative, not, who I would consider, a Bible thumping kind of guy. Many people thought we was unapproachable, but I found him very approachable once I got to know him. I respected him very much and I had plenty of opportunities to share thoughts and get his advice, when he would affirm many of my conservative viewpoints while I learned how to fix cars, something I enjoyed. He had plenty of bits of wisdom and regarding vices of high school students, he told me once or more, that “…they have three vices: Sex, Drugs and Speed, yours is Speed.” I didn’t have heart to tell him, that I was also enamored with alcohol, which is in the “drug” category, I didn’t want to erode the impression I made on him. He wasn’t someone I wanted to let down.
A transformation, just the beginning of a long path
It had nothing to do with Bible Study but something happened when it dawned on my that someone would sacrifice their life some another. It wasn’t a story about Christ, it was, rather, a movie about Marie Antoinette. You see, my sister asked my to record a late-night movie on a video tape but it was a long movie and a tape that require me to edit out the commercials.
I knew almost nothing about the tragic queen and the French Revolution but the entire drama of it pointed my life in a new direction. I never seen so many brave characters sacrifice themselves, or were willing to sacrifice themselves to save the Royal Family if not this beautiful queen herself. This wasn’t the kind of movie that I would normally be interested in. There was a large cast of dirtbags who were out to betray the Royals and in the end, they end up destroying just about everything including the King and Queen and her family.
This movie was not about Christ, per se, but it wasn’t until I was much older that I made the connection that Christ sacrificed Himself for the one he loved and that reality is transformational. The story of God’s grace will land on the conscience of certain people when their time comes. Nevertheless, watching this movie was a pivot point and it lead me to join the Navy instead of the auto mechanic/technicall drawing college I had planned before.
Run In with the off base Bible thumpers
I’ve told this story before in this blog but regarding “Bible Thumpers” also makes me think about the first few months I was stationed in San Diego in 1981 and decided to begin attending church. Not a lot of sailors attending church but it was a nice reminder of being at home.
The chaplain informed us handful of congregants, that we were invited to a civilian’s home for a fellowship. A group of 4 of us were invited to a social off base in one of the suburbs. There was food and games hosted by a young adult couple and some of their friends. After dinner we all sat in a group when an explanation of what the Gospel resulted in an argument over who enters heaven. What over shadows my memory was the argument that ensured, led by our resident sailor whose wife was Catholic. This was, unfortunately, not the most graceful ending to a day of rest. We soon hopped in our ride and headed back to the base, never to see those people again, and, not even to attend church on base.
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Now, looking back, I can understand the motive of these young evangelists. I can only wish I had a better understanding of the Truth found in Scripture so I might help bring additional reason to add to the discussion.
The chaplain on base was not pleased, not pleased at all. I saw him one day walking across the base, when he asked why I wasn’t attending church, I told him about the argument. He was angry that the couple pressed us for decisions that he had warned them against.
Hence, I proceeded to fulfill the rest of my 6 year enlistment in the Navy without the spiritual guidance of the Church. I made up my own prayers before I went to sleep based on the Lord’s Prayer, that was about it. There are no chaplains per se onboard submarines, but there were a few guys who studied together. They still fit into the crew, though I never sought the need to study scripture though I read a lot.
With such a relatively degenerate understanding of Christianity, it’s no wonder that I had insecurities when I knew someone actually appeared to have an idea what being a Christian is.
The slow settling back into the church and the Gospel
After I returned from the navy in the late 1980s some of the people at my church in the young adult group approached me, their sincerity and friendliness made them like-able.
Having been a member of the church though not particularly active in it, seems to have some social currency. People still liked it when my mom read Scripture, and I started volunteering myself. I enjoyed the drama of it. My parents were known and respected volunteers. But, granted, I was looking for something new, like a safe social life and the group seemed accommodating. Still, it took decades to get to the point where the doctrines of the Church were of true importance.
Now, have I become a dreaded Bible Thumper? Have I turned into the person whose mere presence alienates those who have not yet come to Christ? To some, I know I have. I am sure there are plenty of people who quickly get bent in the presence of someone who claims to follow Christ or speaks about the Bible, but I hope that my own approach resonates with a person who is being called. If what I write brings discomfort, it’s by intent, to humble you, to make you question what you think is true and point you to the truth of Christ so that you will find salvation in Him.
All I can say is for most of my life I did not prioritize a relationship with God, did not submit myself to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. While I was free to lead life as I chose, the result was being left empty in the core of my being.
“Everyone has a God sized void in their soul”, and we attempt to fill it with all kinds of things other than God and they only temporarily satisfy at best.
When I was finally able to perceive Truth as the Truth, it came in a small voice in my mind. I wasn’t confronted by a evangelist waiting for me to respond to whether I would accept Jesus or not, but God is trustworthy is you choose to lean on Him, if you are called to lean on Him.
God’s Kingdom exists now for everyone who will place their Trust in Jesus Christ. God promises his peace and a glorious future that is not hindered by death.
Remember Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross and His resurrected from the dead. Church worship services attempt to do this every week not merely remembering an old historical event. It’s a reminder that Christ is alive and He longs for a relationship with His Church. Being taught Scripture helps each of us build a stronger relationship with God as we learn more about God’s character as illustrated in the Bible.
Christ is alive and desires all to come to repentance and trust in Him. Eternal fellowship awaits. Eternal security awaits.
Jesus’ resurrection affirms all that He taught and warned us about. It affirms prophecy recorded in the Old Testament and God’s plan from the beginning. Jesus Christ defeated death. Trusting in Christ transforms believers and will continue to transform.
For a one minute explanation of the Gospel from the late Pastor John MacArthur, watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCP9UcC7BzE
For a review of the Ten Commandments: https://www.challenyee.com/the-ten-commandments/
ACT LIKE MEN a short talk given by John MacArthur (click on the link)
All quoted excerpts have footnotes removed, usually from Legacy Standard Bible (LSB), sometimes from New International Version (NIV), on rare occasion the Amplified Bible (AMP).
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8-16-24