One of the most valued opportunities for support I accepted from the Church was what I would describe as being assigned a dedicated friend through a program called the Stephen Ministry.
Although the formal relationship came to an end after a few months, it was a crucial period of time. I believe its model for creating an intentional friendship would be important to apply in anyone’s life, but especially in times of difficult transitions.
It was back in 1996 after my father passed away, I experienced feeling the massive void that was left inside me after he died. What can you expect when the most formative person in your life, if you have been blessed to have had one, is removed from your life.
I am reminded of the agony Christ endured on the Cross, while absorbing the weight of the world’s sin and experiencing God’s wrath, crying out why His Father had forsaken Him. Death separates, spiritual death separates mortal man with eternal consequences. It was apparent during His suffering on the cross, Jesus was profoundly affected by the loss of the relationship with the Father whom He had been in soul connected relation throughout all time. Yet, Jesus pressed on until his proclamation that “It is finished!”, meaning the sin debt was paid in full, before He gave up His spirit.
A Stephen Minister is a lay person who is trained in, what is perhaps one of the greatest unheralded spiritual gifts and that is of active listening, By chance, I was assigned a guy about my age who happened to be my friend in a fellowship group at church. We would get together once a week early on Saturday mornings by a local lake to just sit and talk. We’d get a couple lawn chairs out and without distractions he would listen like no other person I ever experienced. He would actively listen and, over the course of several days, I was able to sort out the many key thoughts and feelings.
This went on for at least a couple of months and as we grew towards the end, I could sense the necessary effort to gradually bring closure to our ministerial relationship.
While I believe good friends or a mentor can act as a substitute, the calling to take on this responsibility for a friend, would truly be a commitment and an act of selflessness. This would be a great practice to strengthen a marriage relationship if a couple can engage with each other with the right attitude. Most of us are looking for an outlet for our own problems and dealing with challenges of our busy schedules, so affording the commitment of be a caring ear can truly be an amazing blessing.
Even in our closest relationships, it can be hard afford the time to give yourself as a living sacrifice, to volunteer time and listen without interjecting your personal wants and desires. Given the appropriate relationship, one could alternate roles so each can get equal time. It would require some balance, to focus on being supportive without creating co-dependency. Among friends, the time afforded can be more dynamic and spontaneous, but the principles of non-judgmental active listening will always remain an integral part of a strong relationship.
Godly Friendship in the Bible
Speaking of deep friendships, I wanted to highlight one of the greatest relationships documented in the Bible is the one between Jonathan and David.
Unfortunately, the story of their friendship is threaded through the tragic story of King Saul’s hatred and jealousy of David, but we have this paragraph that proceeds after David defeats Goliath:
Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 Saul took him that day, and would not let him go home to his father’s house anymore. 3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt. 1 Samuel 18:1-4.
It is with the dark backdrop of King Saul’s depravity that this friendship is shines brightly. You get the impression that if David had to air out some grievances, that Jonathan would be willing to sit and listen. And if David wasn’t forced into hiding from King Saul so much, that he would actually have time to do the same for Jonathan.
There is an uncommon bond that is created between warriors but the camaraderie extended by the remarkably selfless Jonathan propels this bond to a very high level. David responds in kind to Jonathan and their relationship resonates like no other. So we have the King’s son, a prince, the one who would be king, and the young shepherd, the one who will be the great king of Israel. Both are young, courageous men of action, leaders, engaged in a friendship that defies status and rank.
As a submariner, can’t help but recall the legendary friendship of
Dick O’Kane (Executive Officer) and Mush Morton (Commanding Officer)
aboard the USS Wahoo.
For a detailed explanation of who Jesus Christ is from the Bible’s perspective go to the video in this website , “Who is Jesus Christ?”
For a review of the Ten Commandments: https://www.challenyee.com/the-ten-commandments/
CKY
typos and all, I do not use AI
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