I didn’t want to put the title “I just returned from my wife’s funeral” because that would be too much of an unfair tease since I’m about to share a story about, not myself, but a stranger at work who said the above statement, seemingly out of the blue.
At work in office, I happened to be within ear shot of another department’s Zoom meeting. My office mate was listening to the team call without a headset, and since our desks were in this open office space (which nowadays is a common cost cutting version of a cubicle-less work communal space), I was privy to the meeting taking it as a tolerated background noise.
Then someone said something that caught my undivided attention. Some young guy who was apparently away from work for some undisclosed amount of time said, apparently in response to a question, concern, or as a re-introduction, “I just returned from my wife’s funeral.”
What was entirely shocking to me was the nothing response from anyone on the Zoom call.
Furthermore, there was no or little perceptible pause in the rhythm of the engineering meeting.
Now, I could be assuming the worst of everyone collectively and not individually, but the lack of any expression of empathy or acknowledgment, to me, spoke volumes about the status-quo insensitivity to this unfortunate guy who just experienced a great loss and a life changing event.
I was so bothered by this that I as the meeting closed, I asked my office mate to confirm whether someone had actually mentioned that he had just attended his wife’s funeral, and to offer my condolences.
This can be a problem when people from foreign countries come together to work in an American company in America. I had a somewhat similar experience on 911 when I was disturbed by the amount of people at work seemed unaffected to what appeared to be a war instigating event. The country was most suddenly in a real war footing while the little world of a company in Silicon Valley it was virtually business as usual.
Going back to the guy whose wife died, I think that within a group of immigrants, especially many from more stoic cultures wouldn’t proclaim in a meeting that they had just attended a family member’s funeral.
But what would Christ do?
As part of Romans 12 which is about living a holy life, you’ll find this:
9 Let love be without hypocrisy—by abhorring what is evil, clinging to what is good, 10 being devoted to one another in brotherly love, giving preference to one another in honor, 11 not lagging behind in diligence, being fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, 12 rejoicing in hope, persevering in affliction, being devoted to prayer, 13 contributing to the needs of the saints, pursuing hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless, and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep… – Romans 12:9-13
As part of our covetous-achievement-oriented society, we can be afraid to be human and ignore the passing of others as merely an inconvenient distraction to our self-importance. Most certainly, the world would like for you to think that life after death is about as mysterious and enigmatic as every world religious and atheist would have you believe.
Sometimes the workplace zeitgeist is not to show compassion, certainly not to dwell on it. On the other hand, showing such concern makes people vulnerable which can cause an employee to withhold outward concern for others. Simple stated, compassion in a sterile engineering environment can equal a non-essential human expression and weakness that hinders work efficiency.
The Lord told a parable about a rich fool as follows:
13 And someone from the crowd said to Him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the family inheritance with me.” 14 But He said to him, “Man, who appointed Me a judge or arbitrator over you?” 15 Then He said to them, “Watch out and be on your guard against every form of greed, for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.” 16 And He told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man was very productive. 17 And he began reasoning to himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no place to store my crops?’ 18 Then he said, ‘This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink and be merry.”’ 20 But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you prepared?’ 21 So is the one who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.” -Luke 12:13-21.
One of Jesus Christ’s purposes was to reveal the nature of the invisible kingdom of God. With this in mind, it helps to know that the focus of parables are not social commentary or examples of financial planning, the main point is the highlighting an aspect of the heavenly kingdom and, in this case, the often unexpected event of a death which launches people’s souls into the afterlife and divine judgment.
Do you know what the Bible teaches about death and are you ready for death?
Soon enough, we will be accountable for our sins. It’s good to be ready to die though we do not expect that today or tomorrow may be our last day.
Who knows the power of Your anger
And Your fury, according to the fear that is due You?
12 So teach us to number our days,
That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.
13 Return, O Yahweh; how long will it be?
And be sorry for Your slaves. – Psalm 90:11-13
Whether one is rich or poor,
13 The end of the matter, all that has been heard: fear God and keep His commandments, because this is the end of the matter for all mankind. 14 For God will bring every work to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 (the ending).
And if you are still not sure how hardness of heart may influence expressing compassion, this Scriptural example Christ provided is part of a parable illustrating a group of the unsaved who are judged for a lack of compassion:
41 “Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; 42 for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; 43 I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ 44 Then they themselves also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ 45 Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ 46 And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” – Matthew 25:41-46
Lastly, from the Sermon on the Mount:
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.- Matthew 5:4
While God promises to comfort those who seek Him, these interactions may come from the Church, where God works through believers. Comfort is also possible through those who do not identify as believers, in this case, compassion is still an act where God deserves the glory although many either do not give God the credit, attribute goodness to themselves or to an idol rather than to God. Humility before God even in service to others is important.
For a one minute explanation of the Gospel from the late Pastor John MacArthur, watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCP9UcC7BzE
For a review of the Ten Commandments: https://www.challenyee.com/the-ten-commandments/
All quoted excerpts have footnotes removed, usually from Legacy Standard Bible (LSB), sometimes from New International Version (NIV), on rare occasion the Amplified Bible (AMP).
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