FTW.60 Independence and small victories

Fatherhood in a Technological World – Message #60

Negotiating with the young conquerors in the home

Now, before you think we’re talking about restoring lost liberties from a dictatorial government, we are not, what we’re talking about are the sometimes weird efforts of your child to take on responsibility or autonomy in ways you’d never quite imagine. They may feel quite serious about their own dictatorial ideas, with their executive orders on an elementary level.

These efforts are your child’s desire to take more control in their little lives and how you respond to it could help affirm their sense of being more mature.

It can be tough as parent, it’s easy to be negative from the day to day water that drips from your children’s behavior and in life, so it takes a real conscious effort to stay positive and to look for avenues to exercise your leadership as a parent.


Power Play for part of the Living Room

One morning, my son, then 11 years old, decided to declare that a third of our living room was his area where he controls who sits down and rests there. My first thought was, “Great, now I have to pay a toll just to walk though my own living room, or worse yet, a no fly zone in my own house.”

Soon my mind started working, understanding the aforementioned concept of children trying to have more control over their environment, and I decided to play along with him with a bit of seriousness. Admittedly, I did walk off at first to make my breakfast to think about what was going on.

My strategy was to show some respect for his claim. I asked permission to sit down on my couch where he was sitting.

Then I acknowledged to him what i believed were his intentions, such as, “It must be important to you to have more independence and privacy around here, eh?”

After affirming some of his desires, I tested if he was still grounded in reality and by asking him, “If it weren’t for dad, the room and this couch wouldn’t exist, would it?” It’s important to acknowledge that I, the parent, play an important role in the existence of his little kingdom like.


Parents Lead

Parents need to help children make a connection between their desired action and how it is through the work others, in this case the parent, that they have an opportunity to call something their own.

It’s important to express gratitude knowing that we do not come to attain things in a vacuum. While we may exercise great effort and sacrifice to achieve or to possess something of value, it helps to have a heart of gratitude for our victories, large and small.

I go further into this and come to an important conclusion in the video.



About Fatherhood in a Technological World

Fathers of young children in today’s modern society are facing unprecedented challenges with the wave of technology allowing ever easier access to the internet. The effect on your children has and will have a great influence on their growth. As a parent, you may be feeling the anxiety of having to confront the challenges of being at the end of the rail of the powerful forces driving technology into the laps and hands of your children.

Your work is cut out for you are a father. Even though popular culture doesn’t do well to herald the value of the leadership role of men in the form of fathers, let me tell you right now, being a father in this time and age has never been more important.

Click here to read the complete pilot blog article for FTW

Use what you find that may be helpful and share some of your own insights in my comments.

Tag along for the ride and let’s see if we can cover some common ground.


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Challen Yee


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