FTW.58 Marshmallows

Fatherhood in a Technological World – Message #58

What’s this video all about?

No, it’s not about just about a campfire favorite, it has to do with a long term psychological study started back in the 1960’s that tested young children about 5 years old to see how each of them handled the stress of delayed gratification. Each was left alone in a room and told they would receive an additional marshmallow if they waited for about 15 minutes without eating one placed in front of them.

The children involved in the study were tracked into adulthood and there turned out to be a correlation of higher success with the children who were willing to wait about 15 minutes to get an additional marshmallow. If you’v never watch a video of the study before it’s entertaining. (see this link for an example, the You-Tuber misspelled “Eating Marshmallows”, but that’s forgivable, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DGAsjUa6cA).

What I emphasize in my video below is how, as a  parent, you should respond to your own child’s  tendency to instant gratification. If you conducted a similar test with your 5 year old child and they happened to not wait, you should not feel your child cannot be successful. Rather, you should realize the importance of coaching your child in the ways of dealing with their emotions, how to identify them and how to manage their actions, sometimes having to do the right things despite or contrary their feelings.

Again, regardless whether your child goes for the instant gratification or delayed, it’s important to coach your child in being able to identify and express their emotions to you and how sometimes we need to be patient and wait for greater benefits.

You should also share your own emotions (appropriate ones) with your children and explain how it’s healthy to express yourself and how it is sometimes necessary to restrain your own actions for your good or for the good of others.

If you get into the practice of communicating at this level with your children and respecting and acknowledging their feelings, they are much more likely to build a stronger relationship with you that will withstand the test of time. That alone would be a great success.



About Fatherhood in a Technological World

Fathers of young children in today’s modern society are facing unprecedented challenges with the wave of technology allowing ever easier access to the internet. The effect on your children has and will have a great influence on their growth. As a parent, you may be feeling the anxiety of having to confront the challenges of being at the end of the rail of the powerful forces driving technology into the laps and hands of your children.

Your work is cut out for you are a father. Even though popular culture doesn’t do well to herald the value of the leadership role of men in the form of fathers, let me tell you right now, being a father in this time and age has never been more important.

Click here to read the complete pilot blog article for FTW

Use what you find that may be helpful and share some of your own insights in my comments.

Tag along for the ride and let’s see if we can cover some common ground.


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