Text and photos by Challen Yee
In offering you some insights to how to deal with the fear of being disconnected with your children when you dive into starting your business I’ll actually cover two important concepts that you can take with you.
The first is the developing a magnetic character. Does it manifest itself before you become economically free or does it occur more afterwards?
MEETING MARK HOVERSON
When I first met Mark Hoverson, it was before I saw him speak anywhere. It was at a VIP lunch at Top Earner Academy Live (#TEAL2014), hosted by Ray and Jessica Higdon. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what exactly Mark was known for and neither did two other guys I was talking to right before I spoke with him. We looked at each other asking “What is Mark Hoverson known for?” and decided,”Well, let’s go and ask him.”
But before I ever approached Mark, his presence told me, “I’m safe to talk to.”
Getting into a conversation with Mark Hoverson is like slipping into a conversation with someone you’ve known for a long time. He made me comfortable with the first interaction.
So going back to the question, does success make the man or does the man make success? At this point, I tend to recall something Ray Higdon refers to when he talks about his posture, which I will kind of twist and paraphrase: It would be crazy to think that successful people become stronger more charismatic because of their success, on the contrary, it is because of their attitude and other personal traits that they are able to generate and attract success.
As Mark Hoverson teaches, which I will paraphrase, providing value and getting a return is not a 1:1 proposition, you have to over deliver to expect a certain return. So all this leads me to believe that you really need to become the bigger person, the bigger, badder, more awesome version of you to attract the return that you seek. Get used to it my friend.
Mark Hoverson, one of the many class acts that came and brought their power to TEAL, led off his talk with honor and gratitude for his beautiful and gracious wife, Shannon. He then proceeded to discuss some deep principles of the money mindset. But it was his talk at the VIP session that I want to write about and that was his recommendations on how to remain connected with your children as you embark on your business venture.
“Is there anyone with children under 10?” Mark asked. I not sure how many people raised their hands but I did and Curtis Phelan (sitting next to me up front) raised our hands. This has been one of the obstacles I’ve been struggling with, as I have a 10 and 7 year old at home. It’s been one of the greatest joys in my life to be around them and experience their ups and downs and the challenges of being parent.
And I’ve heard some great coaches talk about how to handle this situation but when a guy who is happily married and has 4 kids under the age of 10 talks about his methods, I give it a little more credence.
And that just reinforces the importance of being around a group of successful people because everyone is unique, including you, so, in the interest of compressing and accelerating time to understanding and enlightenment, it’s hard to get the whole ballpark with only one person of influence.
Mark’s answer is contained in the implementing of daily rituals. Dedicate time to your children that works for you. In his case, one example is when Shannon drives the children to school, Mark will ride shotgun and spend that time to interact with them. That’s just one example.
I read to my children a chapter before bed and we discuss the stories, I give them a back massage and some physical therapy, then do the same quick prayer, “May you wake up with a smile on your face,a song on your lips and joy in your heart.” (credit this to Bob Lepine of Family Life Today Radio) and then I tickle them, which drives them nuts. I ask them if they’re happy… they say “yes”, but in the back of my mind, I’m ready for the “no.”
That’s 100 times more than my dad ever did with me on a daily basis and he was self-employed, working long days to help support his family. I still love and respect my dad (who passed away in 1996). So if you can build in those rituals you’ll be ahead of the game.
If a client is important enough to put into your schedule, why not schedule in your children (certainly better than not!). It’s not a bad thing that you dedicate some time rather relying only on hope and chance.
Another great tip Mark spoke about was how he always seek to spread wisdom when it comes to his children asking for things (including expensive vacations). So Mark got into his philosophy of how to reconcile being at peace with his childhood lack of abundance, his current abundance, and how it influences his children. There is some mystery involved, but he is emphatic about ensuring that his children know how to conduct small business ventures in order to earn the things that they want.
“Nothing is off the table,” Mark said when it comes to want his children choose to attain, but they will need to figure out how to earn a certain percentage of the cost so that they appreciate the value of what they would need to work toward. His first inclination is to share wisdom not dump money when a person comes to him with a need.
Give someone a fish, he is not hungry for a day; teach someone how to fish, they will never go hungry.
Hope something here spoke to you.
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