When you are criticized with a put down, how should you react?
- Keep your sense of humor up
- Keep your defenses down
This will let the other person know you have a positive attitude about who you are and what you do.
If you are defensive, they know they hit a sensitive spot.
If you don’t take the put down too seriously and even be able to laugh at yourself, you will appear self-confident.
Instead of a defensive comment, return with an open ended question to encourage the other person to tell you what’s really bothering them!
- “Why do you feel that way?”
- “What is it that seems to be bothering you?”
- “What is it that you do not like about____?”
- “What can I do to make you feel more positive about what I am doing?”
- “I don’t understand. What is it about ____ that is bad?”
* -from “How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends” (1983) by Don Gabor
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